Sunday, March 22, 2015

Movie Review: Cinderella (2015)

I'm not sure at this point how many different Cinderella stories there are, but I do know that the idea of an orphan girl getting verbally abused by her step family and falling in love with a prince gets little girls everywhere so jacked on life that they just can't help themselves but keep producing more versions of the story.

The most recent movie about the orphan by Disney is similar to the classic cartoon, except live action. The back-story of why Cinderella became an orphan servant takes up three minutes of the open in the original Disney cartoon....it takes up an hour of any other Cinderella story you have seen since then. If you ever wondered why old movies were able to be 60 minutes long where we now live in an era of 3 hour epics that should have intermissions...this is why.


The animals, mice in particular, have a smaller role in this film than in the cartoon - much to my dismay. Half of the original Disney version was the animals talking, singing, scheming...but this time it was mostly Cinderella just talking to them, like a normal person would talk to a dog - except it was mice which is weird and slightly gross.

There is not much else to say about the story except that it pretty much fits the outline of all of the other stories.

What I do want to talk about is the dress. Because, well, it's THE DRESS. Cinderella gets transformed for the ball and is supposed to have this beautiful dress, but instead she wears something that looks like it is straight up out of a children's costume shop. You know the tacky yellow Belle dresses that all the little girls wear? Like that, except blue. It was the most disappointing feature of the whole movie. And to add to the tackiness there are butterflies on the dress. Gross.

I'm going to chalk the whole thing up to a marketing mishap. They must have wanted something that they could replicate perfectly, on the cheap, to sell to all of the impressionable 5 year olds. There is no other reason for them to make a dress that looked that terrible, cheap and awful.

Overall the movie was OK. The story stuck to the classic standard, which I think we can all agree is fine. The prince was charming and handsome and the stepmother was a total b*tch (...she was no Angelica Huston - the most bad ass evil stepmother of all time #EverAfer), the stepsisters were annoying and Cinderella was nice even though life gave her a box of coals for Christmas.

I'm still not over the dress though.

Verdict: 3.2 Stars

XOXO
Jes...

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