The 2014 Olympic Opening Ceremony was OK. Nothing too brilliant happened. An Austrian team member fell on their face; the Venezuelan flagbearer was by far the most enthusiastic person in the building; Canadians marched in a sea of red and Putin looked unimpressed for the entire 4 hours.

My biggest observation of the evening was Shaun White. Um, babe alert.

You remember Shaun White - the snowboarder from the States who reminded us all for years that it is possible for Carrot Top to have a twin.  Well White has cut his hair - drastically improving his chances of getting an STD in Russia.

Pay no attention to the ugly Christmas sweater inspired uniforms that the American team was forced to wear *cringe*. What a difference a hair cut makes.

Men take note. You too could get laid tonight, if you chop off your lady mane.

XOXO
Jes...