The 2014 Olympic Opening Ceremony was OK. Nothing too brilliant happened. An Austrian team member fell on their face; the Venezuelan flagbearer was by far the most enthusiastic person in the building; Canadians marched in a sea of red and Putin looked unimpressed for the entire 4 hours.
My biggest observation of the evening was Shaun White. Um, babe alert.
You remember Shaun White - the snowboarder from the States who reminded us all for years that it is possible for Carrot Top to have a twin. Well White has cut his hair - drastically improving his chances of getting an STD in Russia.
Pay no attention to the ugly Christmas sweater inspired uniforms that the American team was forced to wear *cringe*. What a difference a hair cut makes.
Men take note. You too could get laid tonight, if you chop off your lady mane.
XOXO
Jes...
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