Thursday, October 10, 2013

25 things we learned about Kanye from his Jimmy Kimmel interview

Tonight Kanye West went on Jimmy Kimmel to talk about their recent Twitter feud after Jimmy spoofed an interview Kanye did with the BBC...and then Kanye went ballistic on Twitter.

Kimmel spent the first part of the interview trying to sweet talk Kanye into not hating him for life (...which was really irritating, don't apologize for doing your jokes Kimmel - it shows a lack of commitment.)

Kanye then went on to rant for what seemed like hours..and when I say rant, I mean he was speaking 'in Kanye' in a never ending string of words. I needed an interpreter to even understand the context of anything he was saying. Kanye, get your life together.

For a more in-depth look at everything we saw tonight, here are 25 things we learned about Kanye (if we were unfortunate enough to not already know them - shame on us) from this interview:

 1. Kanye doesn't do things to impress you or the media.
"I don't do publicity stunts period, so don't ever think that." 
Oh my gawd, I totally thought you did - please don't kill me with your eyes.


2. Kanye did his whole twitter rant based on PART of the kid spoof.
"When I saw the skit that I didn't even watch all the way through because I didn't want to be infuriated." 
Imagine what he would have done had he see the whole thing? 'Shank that mutherf-cker.'

3. This is what Kanye looks like when you tell him "I don't know if you know this, but a lot of people think you're a jerk."

4. Kanye is not planning on being a politician.
"I'm not runnin' for office."
Amen.

5. Kanye is a self proclaimed creative genius.
"I'm a creative genius, there's no other way to word it. I know you're not supposed to say that about yourself and I say things the wrong way a lot of times, but my intention is always positive."
So humble, just makes you warm and fuzzy on the inside.


6. Kanye used to be a telemarketer.
"...when I was telemarketing when I was 18 years old..."
I wonder if he yelled at people if they said no to him?

7. Kanye was not responsible with his money when he wasn't making millions.
"I spent two of my cheques when I was telemarketing when I was 18 years old on a pair a Gucci slippers." 
Seriously...slippers? Get your life together man.

8. Kanye likes cool stuff and is extremely articulate.
"For me, I care about cool stuff. It means something to me."
Define 'cool'?

9. Kanye likes to name drop.
"You know, I talked to Quincy Jones at John Legend's wedding..."
Was Oprah there? I only really care about Ope.

10. Kanye has an art background.
"I had an art background before I was even a musician."
Me too. Like, I made a sick finger painting art when I was in kindergarten. It was a grey blob, but a start to my artistic life, so I totally feel ya.


11. Kanye doesn't think of himself as a rapper.
"I wouldn't even say I'm a rapper, I'm more of a messenger."
Messenger of what? Rap music?

12. Kanye is totally OK being full of himself.
"I'm totally weird, and I'm totally honest, and I'm totally inappropriate sometimes...for me to say I wasn't a genius, I would be lying to you and to myself."
Please, tell us how you really feel.

13. Kanye thinks his girlfriend should be on the Walk of Fame.
"...they said they ain't gonna put my girl on the Walk of Fame cause you know, she's a reality star. It's like people are so, so dated and not modern. It's like, there's no way that Kim Kardashian shouldn't have a star on the Walk of Fame. It's a ridiculous concept." 
I think we all know what the ridiculous concept is here, Kanye.

14. Kanye really hates 'the media'.
"I do everything I can to break media."
And they do everything they can to make you crack.  It's a match made in heaven really.


15. Kanye supposedly invented leather jogging pants (aka the most impracticable pants ever).
"We sat as interns at Fendi six years ago...and the leather jogging pants was one of the things we presented that didn't go through...the reason I brought that up...is there is people who made whole careers off of making leather jogging pants."
Again...leather jogging pants. Do you really want your name associated with that idea?

16. Kanye is not a fashion mogul because he is black.
"There is no black guy at the end of the runway in Paris, in all honesty."
Well I will tell you, Reese Witherspoon's mentor in Sweet Home Alabama was a black guy - and that was like, 13 years ago.

17. Kanye does not like getting interrupted during his rants. It seems to make him lose focus and cause him to start parts over again.

18. Kanye believes he is the preeminent name in fashion.
"Who do you know that is known more for clothes than me?"
Um...every designer with a clothing label.

19. Kanye thinks the reason he isn't making it in the fashion industry is because they are 'classist'.
"It's classism...it's what they do when they say 'You're a rapper or your girl's on a reality show so you're not up here with us'...it's snobbery, and I'm not into all that snobbery."
I think this was the most articulate and possibly accurate rant he did the whole time. Except the whole 'reality show' thing. That is a legit excuse not to associate with someone. Sorry.

20. Kanye just wants to be in fashion, why won't they let him in?!
"All we want to do is make awesome stuff."
Oh, maybe that's why.

21. Kanye has dedicated his life to fashion.
"I've dedicated my life to this."
...his clone must have been the one doing all the rapping.

22. Kanye used to play with puppets.
"I've stood up to drug dealers in Chicago and said "You can't have my puppet shit, come and kill me."
Seriously, why were they trying to take your puppets? Did you hide drugs inside them?


23. Kanye wants to be an educator.
"Call Oprah and tell her to back this kid...he wants to educate, he wants to look at curriculums and say, "How do we simplify that.""
I think he wants to be an educator...but I'm not really sure what he was saying there.


24. Kanye will beat your ass, paparazzi.
"...it's not safe for you in the zoo. Never think that I'm not from Chicago for one second!"
Do people die often in Chicago? I am scared.


25. Kanye understands that the paparazzi is not all bad.
"You do help me get money paparazzi. You show people how fresh my outfit is and that helps me influence people."
Truth.

Kanye out.

XOXO
Jes...


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