Monday, July 29, 2013

RECAP: Amazing Race Canada ep. 3: a Cow Town Hoe-Down

This week on the Amazing Race the contestants headed to Alberta from Vancouver.

Of course, being from Calgary, this was bound to be the week I would scrutinize most. Were they going to make us look like a bunch of redneck cowboys? If you think I am an idiot for even thinking there was a possibility that they would have done something else...I would actually agree with you, but one can dream.

The teams touched down in Calgary on two different flights. On the first flight was Hal and Joanne, the Hippies, the Doctors, the Brothers and the Sisters. While they were on the flight the Hippies gave the Sisters the other express pass that they got after they won the first leg of the race.

The agreement made before the first leg started was that the first place team would give the second express pass it to the second place team...but then they second place team ended up being the Doctors, and well, no one likes them so the Hippies gave it to the girls because they are less of a threat. The Doctors...they were not impressed.


To just confirm the great decision the Hippies made not giving them the express pass...the Doctors decide to hide all the Calgary and Alberta maps at the airport. Good game play, or douche move? I don't know...I'm on the fence, it is a game.

After they got off the plane they all got into trucks and drove downtown to a statue of a bull. Yes, they were all driving trucks, because that is what we drive here. And nothing else.

No one had particular trouble finding the Bull which is located in the core of the Downtown. They were then given instructions to head to Ranchman's Cookhouse...which is south of the city center. I think the only thing that would have been worse is if they got them to go to Cowboys and do tit shots.

Again, no one had particular trouble finding the bar. It was just a matter of when they got off the plane as to when they arrived. Once at Ranchman's, the teams hit the roadblock and had to chose a person who would learn and execute a line dance.

Hal and Joanne arrive first and are the first to leave after Joanne completed the dance after three tries. The Hippies and the Sisters are able to complete the task after three tries as well.

The Hippies
Before the Hippies complete the task Kristen tells Dr. Brett that they gave the express pass to the girls. Brett is kind of a dick about it and says something along the lines of "I'm a doctor and I keep my word"...um, OK, you are playing a game. The Hippies ain't dumb.

Dave, from team Bros was able to complete the dance right away. Kind of shocking, even after he reveals that he was a cheerleader and proudly proclaimed "I chuck girls. My role was chucking girls." Still not sure what that has to do with being able to line dance. The Bros head off in 4th place after arriving a full hour after most of the other groups.

The Doctors and the Brothers have a really hard time with it. They did arrive on the first flight, but were not doing so well in the execution part. Holly has two left feet and just sucked and Jody...well he doesn't have any so his reason for not getting it done fast was completely legit. Holly was so terrible, it doesn't surprise me that Jody was able to get it after 7 tries and it took Holly 8.

Neither of those teams were as bad as the Tims. Tim Sr. was the one to do this challenge and was not getting it. For someone who has such a mouth about the other teams performance...like at the beginning of this leg when he sarcastically said, "The girls, Vanessa and Celina, they amaze me at how well they do." ...he sure does suck. I am going to go with the theory that one of the girls burned Tim Jr. and he is out for revenge. Shut it Father Tim and learn how to dance.

After finishing the dance the teams drove off to the Hoodoos outside Drumheller to do the detour...either shoveling coal into railway carts or putting together a dinosaur skeleton from memory.

Everyone but the Doctors picked the coal. Hal and Joanne schooled the lot of them and headed off to the pit stop, Horse Thief Canyon, first with the Hippies on their tail. Hal and Joanne are pretty much certified Canadian Heroes at this point, if they weren't already.

The Bros and the Sisters arrived at the same time, but of course the Bros finished first even after getting rejected multiple times by the person checking their carts because they can't read instructions. The girls debate using their express pass because hauling coal rock by rock to fill a giant bin is haaaaaaard. In the end they don't end up using it and complete their task.

Next out of the coal were the Brothers who end up finishing very close to the Sisters because those chicks can't read a map if their life depended on it...they even asked a guy on the side of the road who told them exactly where to go and it was right over their heads.

They end up getting to the pit stop right around the same time with the Sisters coming in 4th and the Brothers 5th.

The Tims got to the coal last and it was not looking good for them...until Junior saw where the pit stop was after they finished and he was all like "I got this" and told his dad he knew where to go.

Meanwhile...back at the Royal Tyrrell Museum, the Dr. Brett is scolding Holly for freaking out about not getting the dinosaur together fast enough. "Holl, Holl...just stop it." It would be funny if it wasn't so annoying.
The Tims

Cut back to the Tims as they drive in the wrong direction based on the expert opinion of Junior who thinks he has seen the final pit stop when they were driving in. The Doctors finally finish and think they are last for sure...when they arrive to Jon at the pit stop he informs them that they are not last. They almost die. We all know they went back to their hotel and punched each other in the stomach as punishment for not coming in first.

The Tims finally get directions from someone who tells them they went the wrong way...they arrive last. Jon informs them that they were the last team to arrive, however, this is a non-elimination leg. Rude. I would have been A-OK with Tim Squared leaving tonight.

Next week the teams head up north to the territories to do things that are cold. Fun.

XOXO
Jes...

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