Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The Real Hipsters of Vancouver...Audition tapes for your pleasure

Would real hipsters audition for a reality TV show? That was the question I posed when the casting call announcement was made for The Real Hipsters of Vancouver.

I am sure a large amount of Vancouverites in the 18 to 35 demo believe they are a hipster because they wear thick rimmed glasses, have some unusable arts degree and like to listen to non-Top 40 music.

Though the definition varies depending on who you talk to, I think we all can agree that that is not the definition of a hipster. Those are normal attributes of the trendy 18 to 35 year old.

Thick glasses are in. If you wore them 10 years ago and got weird stares from people, then that may give you the hipster classification.

Everyone has a degree, well not everyone, but enough that some random person working at a coffee shop because they got a degree in philosophy and can't find a job anywhere else is not so crazy that they should be called a hipster. I would call that a waste of $40,000. Give your parents my condolences for their financial loss.

You hate Top 40 music? So does at least 50% of the population. It is your God given right to hate the Black Eyed Peas and any other electronically enhanced tune that is played every hour on the hour for a six month period.

I can't give you a definition of a hipster, but I can tell you that now that it is 'hip' to look and act like what you think the definition of a hipster is, the real hipsters have already moved on to some other way of life that will become apparent to you in 10 years.

That being said, let's take a look at some of the people who have made audition videos for The Real Hipsters of Vancouver and stupidly posted them on YouTube so I could tear them apart.

UPDATE: It appears I posted Myles' unfinished video  - my apologies. The above is the final version. Don't worry, my critique still stands as the content is still pretty much the same.

"I'd say what makes me a hipster goes beyond my skinny jeans and my glasses."

Well, since that does not make you a hipster, please continue on and give me some real concrete information.

He says that he has always wanted to go into film, but then says that he idolizes Lena Dunham which is great, but Lena has only been around for a couple of years.

As time goes on I am starting to think, "Myles...I think you are confused. This show is not called 'The Real Gays of Vancouver'." Fabulous parties, Lady Gaga...and OMG I love theatre, but only the super popular Broadway musicals!!!

During his brainstorming session for this video I am sure he floated the idea of sitting on a sofa smoking a tobacco pipe while spewing this monologue.

He seems like a great candidate, no? Long hair, possible useless degree, talks about nature, wears Doc Martins, sounds pretentious and drinks PBR. Fun times.

His Docs look brand new though...and he is shot gunning that PBR. He is also smoking, but not showing me what brand...are those American Spirits? If not, get the f-ck out of here. What doesn't he like? Shitty drivers. Nice one T Pain T Scragg, everyone else loves them and that makes you a trail blazer.

This guy is a gem. Says "dental hygiene is deck" and spends 30 seconds of his video talking about Starbucks - which is pretty much the definition of capitalism and mainstream yuppiness that a true hipster would despise.

In a normal day he eats 3 servings of tofu, goes to Starbucks, reads a play, draws, plays with his DJ equipment, goes to hot yoga, plays his guitar, goes to class, works on his novel and has a gin and tonic. "So basically I do any activity that is not easily professionally employable." Yeah...I totally want to watch that shit on TV. He lost me at Starbucks.

Two minutes and sixteen seconds of this girl saying "I'm a real hipster." Don't worry, I watched the whole thing and that's all it is.

She also writes in the description that this is not an audition tape and you are free to interpret this as you would like. I would like to interpret it as a f-cking phenomenal audition video - as a real hipster would never actually audition. Standing-O.

This would have been my favorite video if that guy didn't talk at all. Not that what he said was dumb, it just would have been way funnier if he just sat there in stone silence the whole time. I like that she says she doesn't like Vancouver fashion or entitled people. Yeah, screw them.

If this show does get put into production I would hope they would have some better candidates than the ones I showed you today. The last two vids were OK, but I couldn't see them making a TV show.



  1. t scragg would be the most entertaining

  2. They should change it to 'The "Real" Hipsters of Vancouver' with the quotation marks...then you could get some actual funny stuff on there.

  3. this is a really terrible article you've written here. Interesting that you are so critical of these wannabes when your blog is basically a dumping ground of clips form last night's reality tv show and senseless youtube videos. I find it even more interesting that you write about culture as if you have experienced or have even been even somewhat immersed in it, but seeing as you write from the cultural wasteland that is calgary that seems unlikely. I am not someone in one of these videos, but I have been immersed in the hipster scene in vancouver all my life, and I can tell you that prairie scenesters are what we despise in vancouver (mostly because of their lack of real life metropolis experiences and lack of ethnic cultural awareness). Congrats on winning best canadian blogger awards (LOL), but I think you should take your head out of TMZ' s waste bin and do something at least semi-productive with your life.
    CHEERS :)

    1. Have you ever lived in Calgary before? Don't trash talk the city if you don't like the article. This is exactly the reason Vancouver people have a terrible reputation. Grrrrr



  6. i thought it was well written and informative never mind these anonymous trolls

  7. it's not well written, nor informative. if you think this is informative reading you should get your gall bladder checked

  8. hipster - a youth movement without movement

  9. I agree with the rest of the posters here. The guy who thought up this contrived piece of crap just to mock other people is the tragic douchebag. What an idiot.

  10. Jes you didn't even post my final video. get it right


  11. Just didn't want your critique to go to a broken link. Didn't say the content was going to be different. I'm still a Broadway, Gaga, Lena, party loving gay and so much more than you will ever be.

  12. This article makes ZERO sense. To be honest this is just hypocritical. Especially that guy who "brushes his teeth." He does not want to identify being hipster, yet calls himself one. And then goes on to say things like "trend" etc. WOW first if you are a hipster, and these candidates are not ones, you never call yourself that. Hipster is just a word that has become the main word for categorizing a certain group of people. Second, this entire concept is for those who follow a "trend." Being "hipster" has become a trend, and all these people are basically following this trend. In no way, shape or form that these people are hipsters. Its ridiculous and hypocritical.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.