For the last couple of years I have done a post prior to my date of birth with a list of things that would blow my birthday mind. With the list always came people trying to fulfill the requests...and they always failed. Quite frankly, I am tired of stressing out my friends. (See, I do have a soul.)

This year I decided to spare people the anguish of the failed attempt and save the post for my actual birthday. (Yes, today is the day Josh Groban and I crawled out of our mom's vajays.)


I would like for it to stand about a foot high...this may mean that one would have to buy a normal gnome and spray paint it. It is also very important that it be gold as I have a certain place that I would like to put it in my living room and any other colour would ruin the entire feel of my apartment.

Last year I asked for wall art and didn't get any. I think I need to be a little bit more specific. I would like a painting by Mandy Stobo (aka a Bad Portrait) of my self and Mark Wahlberg. I think Stobo could really make our love look real - and bad.

Currently you cannot buy these shoes in Canada and I have spoken with the company and it will cost me a black market kidney to get them shipped over here from their warehouse facility - so if you are ever in Spain, please pick me up a pair. Size 8. Merci.

I would like a chalice, but not any normal chalice - a replica of the chalice that Cost carried around in Project X. Why? WHY THE HELL NOT?

Jason Schwartzman's band Coconut Records hasn't made a new album in years. Sometimes I lie in bed at night and just bawl my eyes out wondering when the void in my soul will be filled with some new Coconut Records. I thought that it could be fixed by some new JT tunes, but those came out and I am still weeping like a little bitch. Jason, get out of your pajamas and make me some damn music!

There you have my list of wants/needs/strange obsessions to start of 2013. Happy birthday to me and Mr. J. Winslow Groban.

XOXO
Jes...