For being the biggest potential "end of the world year" in the past 12 years I would have to say you started off well and kind of fizzled out at the end. December 21 came and went and only a couple weirdos sold all their possessions and moved to random places across the globe. These are the same people who would probably jump right in with a Kool-Aid cult, so don't get too excited. You failed at being memorable in that regard.
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2012 Olympics, The Queen being a Bond girl |
As we are all aware, number 3 was the most exciting on that list and makes everything else pale in comparison. Sorry Royal Fetus.
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'Bama gets reelected |
Speaking of not a great year for Americans...even in music foreigners were dominating the scene like only Americas could in the past decade. Bieber is still every tweens wet dream, but that's old news. British songstress Adele killed it at the Grammys - this was her year. Canadian pop star Carly Rae Jepsen rose from Canadian Idol castoff purgatory to have the biggest hit of the year with Call Me Maybe. Korea rapper Psy blindsided us all with Gangnam Style. And the boy band phenom was brought back to life by the likes of Britain's One Direction and The Wanted.
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Backstreet Boys reunite |
Also...in the history of music...2012 was when Donna Summer, Etta James AND Whitney Houston all passed away. So that was extreme of you - when you go big you really do go hard.
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Christine Sinclair - 2012 Olympics |
Then there was the sports disgrace of the decade...or century, with the title stripping of Lance Armstrong and his drug scandal. You can't take full credit for that story though...cause that shit has been going on since your older brother 2006 had their turn at the history making. You just finally pulled out the end of the drams.
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Jersey Shore kids say goodbye during series finale |
If you weren't going to end the Shore...then God was going to try. Remember Hurricane Sandy? That girl was kind of a real ho bag. I mean, Katrina was a way bigger slut, but Sandy did some New York City damage and that is all sorts of epic.
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Right before the Jump, Felix |
You know who is not a whore? Jessica Simpson...I mean, she can't really be now cause she is a mother carrying fetus number 2. Remember that time when Jess was pregs for 20 years and looked like Willy got Free in her stomach? Gross. Anywhos...she popped that child out (yes, it was only one) and got knocked up again. Poor Jess...after losing all the whale weight and everything.
There were other things you accomplished during your reign and unfortunate situations that I guess were out of your control. You are only one year. Maybe your younger sister will be extremely generous...or nice...or maybe she will be what we are all thinking - a total satanic bitch. I mean, she is 2013 for crying out loud.
It was nice knowing you 12. Air high fives on a job well done.
XOXO
Jes...
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