Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Throw Down in the House of Commons

There was a near brawl in the House of Commons today between members of the NDP and Conservative parties. OK, maybe slight exaggeration, but there was finger wagging and the Defense Minister had to break up the action. SO EFFING EXCITING...I CAN'T BREATH.

During this altercation they turned off the mics so we will never know what was said. Let's be real, it was probably boring. I have taken it upon myself to write my own transcript of the events that went down.

(Left side of the screen Conservative House leader Peter Von Loan crouching talking to NDP House leader Nathan Cullen)

Von Loan: If you say one more bad thing about Nickelback I am gonna slap your face.

Cullen: You idiot, you don't have to like a band just because their lead singer got his picture taken with Steve.

Von Loan: Nickelback is a national treasure! You watch your mouth. (wags finger, stands up)

(other NDP party members intervene)

Cullen: The only national treasure we know of is Justin Bieber, he shows your leader the respect he deserves. We're all going to wear overalls for Stephen's next birthday.

(Conservative MP Gary Goodyear comes over - interest peaked by talk of the Biebs)

Goodyear: You better not be smack talking the Biebs, Baby is my jam.

Von Loan: Worse. They are hating on Kroeger and the boys.

Goodyear: Blasphemy.

Cullen: You need to calm down.

(NDPers intervene again)

Von Loan: I will knife your cat.

(Peter MacKay comes over looking hawt as usual)

MacKay: Bring it down, bring it down. This kind of fighting doesn't increase my weapons budget. Back over to our side.

(The three start walking away)

Von Loan: How dare they!

Goodyear: Such disrespect.

MacKay: Boys, forget about them. We run this shit...remember, that's why Chad is still on the radio.

Goodyear: We win. Every time.

Von Loan: Truth.

I have no idea what they were arguing about - something to do with money and a budget. But those fights happen all the time - this one would have been much more fun.


Side Note: Also love that the Speaker does NOTHING. Get those girls under control sir!

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