Saturday, December 8, 2012

Jes' Favourite Things: A Gift Guide that doesn't Suck for 2012

Oprah's favourite things failed me this year. There was nothing in her array of things that I thought would be acceptable things to give to anyone on my list.

So I turned to the internet...surely journalists and bloggers would have put together lists so I wouldn't have to go to the mall and deal with real people in order to get my gifts. Unfortunately, that was a bust as well. Since when did "Gift Guides" turn into "I was sent free shit and that is what I am telling you to buy"? Lame. Lame. Lame.

My list is mainly for people who are similar to me - aka AWESOME. Please don't buy any of these things for the non-legit people in your life. They won't like them.

Girls, Season 1 (from $27)
For all girls aged 17-30...or something around that age. Really depends on how young you are supposed to hear people talk about anal sex in an extremely casual context. I love love love Girls! Unless you subscribe to HBO then you probably didn't watch Girls in real time. But you may want to subscribe after you get through the first season. Season two starts in January. Get ready for greatness. (Available Dec. 11)

Diesel Watch (from $170)
Only for the extremely awesome person in your life...not everyone can pull one of these off. I love giant watches. I like to find the most obnoxious accessories, but someone in your life may want to go with something a little less...Flava Flave inspired. So this Diesel watch is perfect.

Douchebag Jar (from $10)
Remember the Douchebag Jar from season 1 of The New Girl? If there is a Schmidt in your life you can certainly find a use for this. You can buy one from the FOX Store...or you could make your own.

Movie Posters (from $15)
Need something for the movie lover in your life - but you don't want to get them a movie? FunnyFaceArt on Etsy has a rad little store that sells prints of specially designed movie posters. I have Little Miss Sunshine, Where the Wild Things Are, Almost Famous, 500 Days of Summer, Dead Poet's Society and The Hangover. All magnificent. 

Smoking Slippers (from $100)
Smoking Slippers were very much 'in' this Fall. Will that carry over into the new year? Well this isn't a fashion blog so I don't know, nor do I care. All I know is I love my Charles Philip Shanghai shoes and someone else will too.

Chocolate Vodka (from $35)
If you don't have an alcoholic friend raise your hand. If you raised your hand please exit this browser right now. That was close. Now for the rest of you - get to buying. Van Gogh Vodka is to die for. And they make it in a chocolate flavour for those special Christmas. They also make it in a PB&J know, for the 10 year old alchies in your house.

Shot Flask  (from $26)
A great find to go with your Chocolate Vodka and so handy.

Grey knight Armoured Hoodie (from $125)
For the guys in your life...if I were a dude I would want one of these.  It is a hoodie that transforms into armor. WHO WOULDN'T WANT THIS!? Note: It takes 6 weeks for delivery, so you'd be looking at a late Christmas gift, but I am sure that person would forgive you once they saw this epic piece of clothing. (Oh...and they only ship within the you'd have to get it sent to your aunt in Wisconsin or something).

Let's Pretend This Never Happened (from $17)
Funniest book I read all year by far. For the readers in your life who like to read about crazy people's lives in a hilarious voice - this is for them.

Asian Style Tea Cup (from $14.50)
You have to know at least one person who is obsessed with tea. It's the new coffee - didn't you know? David's Tea has an assortment of different tea accessories and this is one of my faves. It is called an "Asian Style Tea Cup" - it has ASIAN and TEA in the name. That means it has to be authentic. I also like the colours.
Baby Sleeper (from $30)
God only knows why we buy babies gifts...but once your friends and family start popping them out you kind of have to get them shit or you look like a bad friend/aunt. If you are going to buy clothes go with the HBC sleeper. It's dope, and it will probably make that particular kid that much cooler when they grow up. Truth.

Revenge Infinity Box (from $25)
Revenge fan on your gift list this year? Do they also have a troubled past and the need to hide facts about people who are on their 'life ruining hit list' in one simple place? Then this is the gift for you. Give them their own infinity box by ABC like the one Emily Thorne uses on the show. It will probably make them a better ninja as well.

Holidays Rule (from $13)
The best Christmas CD of 2012. I don't remember the last time I bought someone a CD, but some people like to still have their Christmas tunes in a tangible formation. Disc favourites: Sleigh Bells - fun.; It's Beginning to Look Like Christmas - Fruit Bats; What are You Doing New Year's Eve - The Head and The Heart.

CanvasPop Gift Card (from $100)
A friend with thousands of photos on Instagram? Photography addicted family member? Get them a gift card for CanvasPop. This site will take your photos directly from instagram and print them off on canvas. You can do them in a montage like the one pictured here or on their own canvas. So rad.

Canada Goose Jacket (from $495)
Are you loaded and want to show people that you really love them? Then Canada Goose is the way to go. Unless you live somewhere where it doesn't get below should just go put on some shorts and shut your face.

Shower Curtain (from $89)
Why would someone want a shower curtain for Christmas? Why the hell wouldn't they? Especially when the curtain is rad like this one.  DENY Designs has a bunch of different artists that they feature. You can get their designs on duvet covers, pillows, shower curtains, blankets and gallery canvases. Lots of options, lots of greatness.

Moroccan Oil (from $12, size dependent)
The BEST stocking stuffer for her. My hair swears by this stuff. It can tame even the most insane mane...if you and your girls aren't already on the Moroccan Oil train you need to get on it. It's a slightly expensive trip to stay on, but you won't regret it.

Craig Ferguson Mug (from $26)
My roommate has one of these mugs. It makes her 10,000 times cooler than she was before she had one. Have someone in your life that needs that extra boost of 'rad'? Then this gift is for them. Craig Ferguson (aka. the most underrated late night host ever) uses this mug during his shows. It's epic. Note: You can't really drink out of it...we use Andi's as a pen holder.

Solo Beats by Dre. (from C$219)
Some people swear by these headphones. They are a tad pricey, but the Solo ones are the cheapest of the lot. If nothing else, Dr. Dre is attached to them so they have to be awesome...or they will be the headphone equivalent of Marshall Mathers...

Hope my list helped somewhat with your Christmas shopping. If you have already finished your shopping...I hope my list made you want to return your lame gifts and buy the people on your list things that they would really want.



  1. This is an awesome Christmas list...too bad I'm already done my shopping! Maybe I'll just get some of it for myself muahahaha.


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