Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The Bachelor Canada: Women Tell All with a lot of Sorry Sorry Sorry

Tyler Harcott earning his pay on the show - talking more than his usual 10 seconds an episode.
The women told all tonight on The Bachelor Canada...that is until someone told them they were being mean, they felt like people were hating them or another girl started crying. As soon as this happened it was all 'sorry sorry sorry'...can we be more cliched Canadians?

The first girl in the 'hot seat' was Gabrielle. While the world thought that the claws would come out, it was all rather tame - much to my dismay. One second it was, Gabrielle is harsh etc and then a couple of the girls flipped and started saying Gabrielle is super nice and she is like, "Aw, love you girl." Seriously? Are we all going to sit around and sing kum ba yah now? Vomit.

They talked to Chantelle, who was sitting in a spot on the outskirts of the group so you could never see her when there was a wide angle shot. Very awkward. Also awkward, when they address Chantelle telling Brad that she still has her V-Card and she says, "I'm glad I told Brad, as awkward as it was." And Tyler Harcott throws in that she didn't just tell him....she told the whole world. Classic.

Laura B is the next one on stage and they start talking and I am thinking, "Who is this girl again?" And then I remember she was the one that had the emotional melt down. Can we please move on from this girl already - besides her meltdown she brought nothing to the show. Boring, let's get to the good stuff.

Enter Whitney. The girls were all salivating at a chance the call her out on whatever it was that they thought she did to them. It all boils down to jealousy and the fact that Whitney was still in the show and they got rejected by a guy that says 'cute' a lot and cries far too often. It's always easier to rip apart the girl who is on top than the one that has fallen. If the roles had been reversed with her and Gabrielle the conversations would have been a lot different.

Of course Gabrielle led the attack on Whitney calling her a 'cockroach' and besides the whole 'she snuck out to see Brad' thing had no concrete example as to anything that she did that was 'dose a girl in gasoline and light her on fire' worthy.

Whitney fires back saying that people tell her that they can't believe she didn't knock Gabrielle out the first night when Gab was being a big ho bag and calling her a slew to her face. We are all amazed at your self control Whitney. *Eye roll* This doesn't surprise me since she works in the NE (pronounced knee) as a lunch time waitress at the Cactus Club...there are probably some good brawls there at noon on Fridays.

The other girls jump in and say things like Whitney was a bully and she didn't try to connect with any of the other girls. And I am just sitting back thinking, bitches be crazy. This was not a reality slumber party, get over it.

As soon as Whitney brought the kleenex to her eyes to dab the fake tears that weren't present the claws went in and the girls turned from 'I will burn you' to 'I kind of dislike you' in a matter of seconds. The Canadian in everyone seemed to come out and the fun was over. Tisk. Right when I thought someone was going to get a weave ripped out. (Just kidding...that moment was NEVER on the horizon in this episode.)

Whitney leaves and then Kara comes on the stage. Before I get to her I have to point out that Bianka, the other girl left in the race, wasn't there. Can we all just give some small props to Whitney for showing up basically knowing that she was going to be ripped apart by those other girls...cause clearly she didn't have to.

Anyways, Kara gets on stage and I fall into an awake coma because she is so boring. I find that super nice people are the least entertaining to watch or be around in general. Get some edge or personality or something and then come talk to me...before that, just leave me alone. So Kara is there being all boring and stuff and Brad comes out. They both say that they like each other as friends and that's it. Um, OK.

Then Brad talks to the girls. He basically spends the ENTIRE time apologizing to each girl for sending them home by saying things like "It was really hard" over and over again until I am literally five seconds from turning on a rerun of Friends. Then he starts to almost cry and I am thinking, cut that shit out Bradley. My four year old nephew doesn't even cry as much as you do. Pain.

The last little bit of the show is a blur for me as I was trying to think of good reasons not to go into my kitchen, take a knife and stab myself in the face. It ends with pleasantries and then they do a preview of what will happen next week.

If Brad knows what's good for him, which I don't think he does, he won't propose to either of these girls. They are both complete messes. I hope he chooses no one or the one he chooses declines him. If there is a 'happily ever after' moment at the end of this show I fear for a non-renewal of the franchise.

Next week is the season finale. Tune in, Brad will probably cry.


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