Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Bachelor Canada Week 5 Hometown Dates: What's real and what's fake

Brad went to visit the families of his final four bachelorettes on this episode of The Bachelor Canada.

His first date was in Mississauga with Bianka. She takes him on a little walk to get ice cream where they both discover that they are two boring peas in a pod who like mint chocolate chip ice cream. Can I just say that Mississauga must be the most exciting places in the country if that's where she chose to take him on their date. For those of you who can't read sarcasm...that sentence was full of it. Everything about that date screamed thrown together and lame-as-fack.

They meet her family and it is all pretty boring. They play some jokes on him...we can't speak English, but we actually do and dad is going to mind f-ck you by putting a sword on the table. You know, the usual.

Next up is Kara in Vancouver...although her bio says she is from Delta, which I realize is in the GVA, but still. They go on a boat tour in the rain, obviously, because when is it NOT raining in Vancouver? At one point Brad asks her if she is willing to relocate. She interprets this as "he is going to pick me", but I actually think he was thinking...I never want to come back to this wet hell again, it's messing up my hair. He met her family, who are probably my favorite group of all the fams. Her dad made a surprise visit and they all got along swimmingly.

It's back to the Ontario for the next date with Gabrielle. She is clearly wanting to show him that she is not the bitch she has the reputation of being and brings him to a seniors rec centre to play bingo with some old people. She goes off about how she volunteers there all the time and wanted Brad to see another 'side' of her. All I saw was a chick who was making the right moves to pad her resume because she is currently in law school.  I also saw a room full of old people who had no real connection with her at all, which leads me to believe that they know of her, but they actually don't know her at all. They were getting along better with Brad than her.

Then it was over to Gabrielle's family's house. Her mom seemed nice, but the star of the family was her cousin Paris who was trying to steal Brad from her at the dinner table. It was amazing...he called Brad diamonds - awkward laugh situation. Then Gabrielle made him belly dance, which he obliged to, but probably hated it (although he did get up and pretend to be a horse at Kara's on his own accord, so maybe he is just an idiot).

Brad headed back to the west for his last date with Whitney in Calgary. Whitney's date was by far the best...they met up first at Eau Clair downtown and then drove out to Canada Olympic Park (COP) to go bobsledding. Pretty ballin.

Then they went to Whitney's family's house where we met her twin sister, or should I say, her twin eyebrow sister. need to learn from your mother and get that shit plucked. Her dad grilled Brad and then at dinner he asked Whitney if she could see herself with Brad - silence. Don't you hate those awkward dinner convos, "Hey are on a show where you are looking for a husband - gonna marry this guy?" ...crickets. This did not go over well with Brad.

I'm not sure where her parents live - but their favourite spot in the city was Eau Clair and Prince's Island Park because they returned their twice during his visit.

Then it is time for the rose ceremony - oh hey there Tyler Harcott, I thought you weren't going to be in this episode AT ALL. Now that you have served your five second purpose of announcing that Brad is going to give out his final 3 roses you may move along.

Brad asks to speak with Whitney before they continue because he is unsure of her feelings. She is like, yeah I have feelings. And he is like...OK good cause I wanna bone you on the fantasy date.

Roses are given out. Kara first, then Bianka and then Whitney. Gabrielle leaves stating "I guess people just don't like to hear the truth." Yes Gabrielle, a filter would be lying about old people being your friends when they are not is pretty gross.

While the credits rolled at the end they show Whitney and Brad in the Prince's Island Park feeding the geese and getting part of the episode. Those geese are scary...they hiss at me when I walk and sometimes I think I may cry from fear.

Until next week, that's the Bach Can.


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