Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Theatre Review: Mary Poppins

I often embellish the truth because we all know - the truth is often boring. I don't however, outright lie. So you must believe me when I tell you...I used to be a nanny. If you have never read my smack before then you are probably thinking, "Big deal." But, if you have, you are most definitely thinking, "You are a lying slut!"

It's true. For an entire year I took care of children as a full time job. I was a live-in nanny in the States (more on American wealthy living later). Now when I go off about how much I hate children, you have a reference point for my disdain...and you will also give me a little more credit when you read the review of Mary Poppins.

Broadway Across Canada rolled into town and opened the Broadway musical Mary Poppins tonight in Calgary. I have a vague recollection of the movie. Something about eating a bunch of sugar and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. This is not what I saw tonight...as a grown up I am looking at things a lot differently.

The story plays out like this:

Drifter weirdo nanny shows up at a house and parents take her in without any reference checks. Then she drugs the children with stuff that she pretends is sugar and they start tripping out in a forest, seeing bright colours and big black ladies singing...you know, the usual shit that happens when you are using narcotics.

Then one day the kids are being little bitches, as kids are, and she leaves. The parents then bring in a real nanny who supposedly is the 'holy terror' but doesn't even beat the children (anti-climactic). Then the drifter nanny comes back and the parents let her stay no questions asked (because they are shitty parents). She stays for about a day, kills the 'holy terror' nanny and then takes off again. And the family is stoked about it and they live happily ever after.

Obviously more stuff than just that happens, because the play is 3 HOURS LONG, but that is the gist. If you don't think this is what happened in that story, you are delusional. I am right. No argument.

As far as the musical went...I thought it was pretty fabulous. We got to see Mary Poppins fly around with her umbrella and the chimney sweeper walk on the ceiling. This kind of stuff always gets me going.

The singing was above average...not spectacular, except for maybe the woman who played Miss Andrews (the holy terror). Yes, she was actually phenomenal. Everyone else was just 'good' on a scale of Ear Bleed to Mind Blowingly Awesome.

 If you are wanting to see a story out of your childhood to reminisce about time when you didn't have bills and real problems, then I suggest you go. If you are jaded like me you might end up seeing the story for what it really is. If you have been dealt a good hand from the life deck you may be able to get into the whimsical grossness of it all...I wouldn't know, my cards are terrible.

Verdict: 3.8 Stars

XOXO
Jes...

Mary Poppins runs from July 31 - August 5, 2012 at the Southern Alberta Jubilee Auditorium. Purchase tickets here.

1 comment:

  1. Mary Poppins is 100% my favorite, too! I always think of her voice and her shoes. Is that weird? Also, I bought a $3 kite at the beach this year and stood solo in the waves holding the string while belting out “Let’s Go Fly a Kite!” I’m sure onlookers were quite amused.

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