Monday, May 28, 2012

Top 5: Movies that make me Cry

For the most part, the only time I ever cry is out of rage. When my soul tells me that I should swear violently at someone and stab them in the neck with a pencil, but my rational self tells me to shut my trap and pin my arms...the only logical thing to do in that kind of situation is shut your office door, swear silently to yourself, and cry frustrated tears.

Those times when I do 'sad cry' it is generally only due to fictional characters with whom I have become way to emotionally attached to, more so than anything/anyone I know in real life. To date, I still have not cried when I real live person has died. (Insert cold dead heart joke here).
Recently I came completely unhinged when one of my fave characters got killed off on Grey's Anatomy. I am still not over it. Which prompted this post...which movies have made me cry the hardest in my life. These are my top 5:

Dead Poets Society
This movie is f-cking sad. I was so distraught when Neil killed himself. I have never wanted to taser a person's parents so badly in my entire life. And then the dismissal of Keating. Complete travesty.

The Notebook
Not the whole, the chick flick parts, but the scene when Noah and Allie are old and they are dancing and then all of a sudden she forgets who he is and she freaks out. Then he starts to cry. Breaks my non-existent heart every time. James Garner should have got an Oscar for that 30 second spot alone. My sad attachment to this part of the movie may have something to do with my elderly family members, but I think it would be sad for people who are not effected by Alzheimer's as well.

Every. Single. Time. I swear to Jesus on a crucifix, you could turn on this movie and let me watch only the last 10 minutes and the water works would start. First there is the Ben Affleck in the elevator thing when Bruce Willis takes his place to set off the bomb. Then there is his conversation with Liv Tyler and then when Will Fitchner gets off the rocket and says "I want to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I've ever met." Like, screw off know the way to my soul.

This is the saddest thing I have ever seen. The fact that it is a movie for children raises giant concerns about Disney. Yeah, your mom got shot and your dad could give two shits about you. That sounds like the greatest kids movie of all time. WHAT THE HELL! I honestly believe that this movie gave me some kind of weird separation anxiety from my mom when I was little. F'ing Disney.

Life is Beautiful
War movies are often sad and depressing, Life is Beautiful is a different kind of sad. What is happening to the Jews is terrible, but the fact that the dad is completely shielding his kid from what is going on even though they are at a concentration camp is beyond the most beautiful story ever. And then he dies at the end and that is F-CKING TRAGIC.
Honorable mentions: P.S. I Love You (if I was married to Gerard Butler and he died I'd be DEVASTATED),  Schindler's List (that is sad...but like a scary, people are evil sad), Ladder 49 (has made me never want to personally know a fire fighter because, according to this movie, they will eventually die), The Time Traveler's Wife (if this wasn't about time travel, it would have made the list), The Pursuit of Happyness (train station bathroom scene...ugh, kills me), and Steel Magnolias (Sally Field, epic).

There are some movies that everyone tells me they cried in. I did not cry in any of the following movies: Marley and Me (it's about a f-cking dog), Titanic (boo-hoo Jack dies, like he wouldn't have died of starvation once he got to America anyways), My Sisters Keeper (screw that noise, they totally ruined the book...completely dry eyed),  and UP! (watched it, didn't cry, was annoyed that they house came completely out of the ground when he inflated the balloons).



  1. One Movie a cried so hard, and I mean ugly cry where snot is coming out my nose and can not control the drool coming out of my mouth was "Boy in the Striped Pajamas". I thought it was pretty boring through out the entire movie.. Then BAM! Right at the end they get you.. :(

  2. I read the book of DPS in my language class. I cried at when Neil kills himself because his dad won't let him have his dream to be an actor. I know. The part right at the end where the kids stood on their desks to show that Keating told them to see the world differently got me right in the heart.

  3. i cried at all of those movies too... and then again today as i watched the clips... thanks for the instant tears jess
    xoxo mom

  4. This list is spot on. I was 4, and Bambi was the movie my Dad took me to see, for my first visit to the movies. I was inconsolable for WEEKS over Bambi's mother getting shot. My Mom still goes on about how foolish a move it was on my Dad's part. For a "family" company, Disney has had some questionably misogynistic blunders with their classic films. Mufassa dying in The Lion King was rough to sit through at the age of 12, and Old Yellar was kin to something out of Stephen King's The Pet Cemetery.

    I couldn't agree with you more, on My Sister's Keeper. They might as well have burned the book, and pissed on the ashes. I can remember sitting there, bracing myself for that horrific part in the book, and my hysterical anticipation turning to "WTF!!!!!" when it didn't happen. I'd gone to see it with a friend, who hadn't read the book, and I was silently FUMING when we left that theatre, while she was dabbing at her face. She looked at me, and cautiously said "What's wrong?" I said I didn't want to ruin the book for her, as she hadn't read it, and she said "I'm not going to read it, so don't worry." and I spit out "They changed the ending!" I had never been so angry at a movie's ending before in my life, except for maybe "My Best Friend's Wedding" - seriously, whose brain child fail was it, to give then unknown Cameron Diaz a happily ever after, over the Pretty Woman? Don't eff with America's sweetheart!


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