Thursday, May 3, 2012

Recap: Real Housewives of Vancouver 'The One with the Fashion Show'


I will give it to those Vancouver ladies, I am still entertained by their ridiculousness. Jody Claman is still my fave with her Queen Bee bitchiness, but this week, again, it was all about Ronnie Negus and Mary Zilba.

Mary invited the girls to a hotel in last week's episode to see her scarfs and Ronnie got drunk and started to ream out Christina Kiesel and Mary. First of all, if someone invited me to a hotel to see their scarfs I would get drunk too - how boring.

So Ronnie is hammered, what else is new? Oh, wait. The 'newness' was that Mary grabbed some balls and told Ronnie to leave. Jody and Ronnie then make everyone else bail and Mary is left alone with some friend that isn't on the show, crying.

Awesome.

This week Mary is pissed. Christina is on Team Mary. Jody is on Team Ronnie and Reiko Mackenzie, like the little flip flopper that she is, played both sides. Although, she leans more towards Team Ronnie because, let's face it, Ronnie and Jody are scarier than Christina and Mary.

At the beginning of the episode Christina and Mary decide to have a little hang out at a beach with their dogs. They drink prosecco, which I am pretty sure is illegal on a public beach, but it's prosecco, and there's cameras...so it must be legit.

Next time I am in VanCity I am going to bust out some booze on the beach and claim ignorance and blame this show for my illegal activities. Oh, and then Christina's dog mauls Mary's, which was hilarious. Ugh, Christina's dog is so fugly...guess it's true what they say about dogs looking like their owners.

Then Christina goes to some kind of martial arts work out with Reiko while she is hungover/still drunk from a date the night before. Hilarious. This was the funniest Christina had been the entire time and I almost warmed to her, and then I remembered I hated her.

Reiko, Christina and Mary go for a bike ride around Stanley Park where they piss off everyone by riding their bikes on the wrong side of the bike path. Then they get flustered and shocked when people cuss them out. I would have thrown stuff at them for not knowing the rules of the road.

Ronnie has decided that she is going to name the new wine from her Napa vineyard (because of course, she has one of those) Rehab. Clever. Her son, who she claims is a genius is going to head up the project. Do we know how old her son is? Is he a genius because he graduated high school or because he has a degree? This isn't clear to me. It is clear that he is not actually anywhere near the brain level of genius.

When Ronnie and her son, Jhordan, (Who the heck spells Jordan like that? Douches, that's who.) went into their creative meeting with the advertising people who were going to brand their wine they had no clue what they wanted. They are the type of people who tell designers "Just make it look fabulous" and then rage about the final product. I hate people like that.

Ronnie's main suggestion to the team was "it has to make money" ...really? Cause I thought you wanted to give it out for free to homeless people on East Hastings. Thanks for clarifying.

Jody was MIA from this episode except for making sure that Ronnie stayed pissed at Mary so she was still in control of the group.

Reiko was all worried about walking down the runway for a fashion show that she was in because of her 'if you sold me you could stop world hunger' cars that were in a car show. Jody and Ronnie were bored at the fashion show - my kind of people. Show me a couple of pictures of the clothes...I don't need to see you walk up and down a catwalk for 30 seconds to know if I hate them or not.

After the fashion show there is a stand off between Ronnie and Mary, obviously. But this time there are no words. Jody just makes Ronnie leave a tent when Mary walks in and Reiko follows. Reiko is still not declaring a side by saying, "I didn't want any drama at my event...so I left too." Now you are just being annoying. Don't lie to save face.

Oh and Christina went on a date with a dude that seemed boring as all hell, but for some reason she liked him. Ummhumm. Someone please tell me he is a paid actor.

Keep up the drama ladies. I am not bored quite yet.

XOXO
Jes...

6 comments:

  1. soooo... why are all comments turned "off" on the Slice website?
    If I was related to Ronnie...or Ronnie's husband... I'd be FREAKING out to get her off the show. Does she even realize how drunk she looks? (not to mention how stupid she sounds half the time...clearly taking some sort of medication or hourly wine)

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  2. You are the most unskilled writer I've come across so far. That is really is really saying something.

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  3. cupcake girl, you are very rude.

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  4. Yeah cupcakegirl...so glad you took time off from your very educated life to post such a lame, hypocritical comment, Little Miss Perfect...and "that is really is really saying something". Hello kettle? This is the pot...you're black. If you don't like the writing, don't effing read it...or go back to school so you can comment without looking like an idiot.

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  5. lol the comments here are funny

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  6. This article is really fun and entertaining. I enjoy reading it. Want to read the next episode of this drama.

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