Wednesday, April 18, 2012

In Review: The Lucky One (A Letter to...)

Dear Zac Efron,
Hey sexy. I saw your new movie, The Lucky One, tonight. It was alright...pretty classic cookie cutter Nicholas Sparks if you ask me, but I am sure you already knew that. You probably had to watch all the other movies and read a couple of books to come to the decision to play the brooding wounded loner the way you did.

Before I start in on your performance I have to tell you...I  don't know if it is because I still see you as a singing high school basketball player, or if Hollywood has messed with my brain so much that I can't comprehend someone playing someone their own age in a film, especially a dude - but I really was not feeling you in this role.

Not everyone can go from singing kiddie Disney stuff to being a brooding heart-throb (cough Ryan Gosling cough). That doesn't mean that you aren't a good actor, it just means that the deep, make your stomach knot and cry on the spot type roles are not really in your forte. Maybe one day they will be...and I am sure you will get many more of these before that day comes, but just note: I will not approve until you find some way to have more than one facial expression when playing one and you actually make me want to cry instead of laugh at emotional moments of the movie.

For example, your character is in the war and all of his friends die - that is sad, but I wasn't feeling bad for you at all. Then he goes home and can't stay there due to bratty children. I think we were supposed to feel bad for him then too...right? I'm not sure, cause I didn't. Then there was the moment when he recaps the war...that should have been sad too right? Like, hell Zac...I didn't cry at all. I didn't even think about it. Even Channing Tatum got me to cry in Dear John and he is as bad an actor as they come. That is saying something!

Then there was how you carried yourself in the scenes. So forced. I think you are probably a perfectionist in real life and it carries over into your acting in a bad way. When I watch you it feels like everything is calculated and I can almost see the wheels turning in your head...nothing seems natural. It's awkward to watch.

You should aspire to be as great an actor as Blythe Danner, the old lady that played the role of the Grandma. She was witty, funny, and completely on point with the emotion necessary...and she made it look effortless. I hope you tried to learn from the lady while on set. If you didn't, your loss.

Part of me wishes your dog died in the movie...I know you are probably thinking that is just because I am a heartless animal hater (and you know this because you are a regular reader of XOXO Jes), but I think that would have shaken things up a little. Made the movie a bit more dramatic. Yeah people die, but I wasn't the least bit irritated about any of them. The dog however...that would have been fantastic.

So the dog not dying, lame. Also lame...your buzz cut. I know that it was a military issued, but you do not look good with that little hair.  It actually almost made you unattractive. Calm down, you are still a beautiful man, but it just shows how much hair can up your game. You should pass this info onto Justin Bieber in case he ever decides to join the army.

Well Zac, that's it for now. Stop being so serious, grow your hair and get that dirt off your face. I'll see you next time on the big screen.


Verdict: 2.9 Stars

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