Wednesday, December 7, 2011

In Review: New Year's Eve

Oh New Year's Eve, the one night of the year where great expectations run rampant and dreams get crushed all in the exact same moment - the stroke of midnight.

Have you really ever had a NYE that you would look back on and say 'perfect'? Doubtful. You are probably recalling the time so-and-so tripped on her stiletto, broke her arm and made you spend the night in the ER, missing NYE entirely; or the time you went a little shot happy on the Fireball and puked all over the ridiculously expensive dress you had planned on returning; or the time you thought you had an awesome new years, woke up, rolled over and realized you were wearing the most amazingly dangerous beer goggles the night before...and look at that, he left you a treatable parting gift in your nether region. These are fictional situations that in no way mirror my own lame New Years memories, but you get the's a bunk holiday that was created to start your year off on the wrong foot.

So with all that said you would think that the movie with the same name would be that as well, created to raise expectations, but then kill your insides when it actually came time to sit through it. I mean, it IS the sequel to the horrendous flop Valentine's Day which was meant to recreate the spirit of Love Actually...and look how that turned out. Up until this point you are probably settling in for me to rip this movie a new a-hole, but I am about to shock you.

I liked it. I know...what the hell, right? I don't know if it was better because of the cast, which again was a credit roll of every A-list celebrity that wasn't filming another project at the time, or if it was the story lines, which seemed a little more heartfelt that the rubbish churned out for V-Day.  Whatever the case. Job well done.

Now obviously it is not without its faults. The one of the endings really pissed me off, and it pisses me off more that I can't tell you which one or it would ruin the whole thing for you...but just note that the thing that happens at the very very end...f-ck that noise. Just f-ck right off with that shit. I can't even tell you who it is about, but you will know. And if you don't, then you are ridiculous.

I'd say it was a couple story lines too many and I would have cut Ashton Kutcher and Lea Michelle altogether, but that is because I hate them both as actors and people. I was also disappointed that they didn't write a wicked song for Jon Bon Jovi's character to sing, opportunity lost. 

[Side Note: Can someone please tell me if Abigale Breslin is wearing a prosthetic nose in this movie? Her face looked hella weird and I couldn't put a finger on why. If you tell me that she got plastic surgery I may have to go shoot a stray cat.]

The shining stars of the show were Russell Peters, Zac Efron, Hilary Swank and Michelle Pfeiffer. Russell gave us some East Indian flare, brilliant. I'm not usually a fan of Zac Efron's work, but he played a no-care-in-the-world courier. Hilary Swank had such a cute story line. And Michelle...she looked absolutely dreadful for such a pretty woman. That in itself deserves a pat on the back.

All in all it was swell. Not over the top terrific by any means, but my expectations were so low there was no way they couldn't surpass them....unless Ashton had had more screen time, then they may have had a problem.

Verdict: 3.8 Stars


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