Monday, March 21, 2011

Top 5 (Special): A spoiled girls progression through 5 reality shows

Reality TV showcases some of the most horrendous people in all of America. Now, if there was one female to go through a myriad of shows in her lifetime I should think that these would be the ones. Get ready for horror.


Toddlers and Tiaras
The breeding ground for the spoiled bratty teenagers of tomorrow...Toddlers and Tiaras is the absolute worst show on television.

5 year olds are paraded around in 10 pounds of makeup, hair extensions, thousand dollar dresses, veneers, and spray tans all the while their crazy (and usually fat and ugly) parents cheer on the sidelines hoping that their child will be the best to make up for their lack of looks and life failures.

The tantrums that you see on this show would put a 2 year old in the cookie isle to shame...and that is just the parents.

The girl in question starts out on this show...gets a taste of fame and it is all downhill from there.

My Super Sweet 16
That same girl who was thrust on the stage as a toddler would then probably star in this brat disease of a show...My Super Sweet 16.

Our girl is now a 15 year old due for life celebration. She is encouraged to be as spoiled, bratty and selfish as humanly possible.  Freaking out when dad buys her a BMW instead of a Bentley and losing it on her friends who take a wrong step in her choreographed grand entrance to the $50,000 party. Most of the people who come to her party actually hate her guts.

16 and Pregnant/Teen Mom
...and since our girl was clearly never properly beat by her parents one would not expect that she would abide by the rules...especially the one entitled "no glove, no love."

Now her mom will be able to raise another kid because God only knows that this gem of a teen will have too much of a social life to be able to take care of an infant. Hopefully grandma will learn from the mistakes of her past. 

This section of the reality show progression could also be with the show entitled I Didn't Know I was Pregnant.

Paris Hilton's BFF
After leaving little Jane or Joe at home with Grandma (oh who are we kidding....she would have pompous and possibly stupid names like Diamond or Phillip III) the now legal girl would probably be in the position to be in the running of Paris Hilton's BFF.

Of course she would hide the fact that she popped a baby out of her vag and act like the dumb bimbo party girl that Paris would like her to be. Paris introduces her to her friend white powder and the rest is history.

Intervention
Ah, the final stages of the brat disease. The woman, now in her late 30's, would be a former toddler beauty queen, a mother of God only knows how many, and a Paris Hilton cast off - cause you know P Hilt would have found out about little Phillip III.

She would now be hooked on the drugs and booze that she spent so much time with while climbing up the ladder of reality celebrity success only to be pushed off when her boobs started sagging and she failed to get cast in the Real Housewives of Cleveland.

She now lives in a small one bedroom apartment snorting coke off a dinner plate blaming it all on her mother and those God awful toddler beauty pageants. She probably says no to the intervention, but is happy to be featured one last time on reality TV.

- Don't tell me you don't think this is possible. 'Cause it totally is.

XOXO
Jes...

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