Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Over 74,000 Applications to be Sheen's Intern - How Will He Narrow it Down?

Internships.com has reported that over 74,000 people have applied to be Charlie Sheen's intern after his job posting went live on Monday. It closes on Friday. I have no idea how one would narrow down the candidates from an application as small as First Name, Last Name, Email and 75 CHARACTERS about why you should be Charlie Sheen's intern. Outrageous.

Supposedly everyone who applied will get an email on Monday requesting their resume and from there they will narrow it down to a possible 50. I think that Team Sheen should start the eliminations after phase one.

So of course...to help a pal out...I have come up with some ways for Charlie to mass delete people from the running after the 3 pieces of info they were required to provide in the initial application.

Delete...
  • Anyone with a Hotmail account. They obviously know nothing about technological advances and therefore are not worthy.
  • Anyone with the last name Smith, Johnson, Brown, Jones, Williams, etc. (Common last names for common folk who can not possibly have Tiger Blood).
  • Anyone who wrote Winning, Tiger Blood, Plan Better, or Duh in their application. You don't need people stealing your act Charles.
  • Anyone with the first name Brook of Denise.
  • Anyone who used smiley faces in their 75 characters. That's just annoying.
  • Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber...cause you know they probably applied. Miley to get closer to her life role models (the Goddessess) and Bieber because he has no idea how insane Charlie really is.
  • Anyone who applied in a language you don't understand...that's not prejudice, it's practical.
Good luck Team Sheen.

XOXO
Jes...

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