Wednesday, February 9, 2011

In Review: Justin Bieber: Never Say Never

After seeing Team Bieber's most impressive piece of propaganda since Goebbels, I have decided on 3 questions I will answer to summarize the failures and achievements of this "documentary" of the rise of Bieber: Did we get the whole truth and nothing but the truth, is Bieber really all that, and why are his fans absolutely ridiculous?

Question 1: Did they tell the whole truth? Well, do advertisers tell you the whole truth about their products? Does McDicks tell you that eating too many of their burgers may give you a heart attack and possibly lead to death? No...because it is marketing.

The reason this film was a marketing tool for Team Bieber and not a documentary was that is was all rainbows and gum drops...there was no grit and no conflict - minus the small "Oh no, Justin may lose his voice" story line, which clearly ended in glitter erupting from his mouth and little girls swooning. If you have been around humanity for more than a day you will know that no one is perfect...even the ever so enchanting Biebs.

This movie made it look like he was running for Sainthood. He was depicted in such a way that it was pretty much impossible to leave the theatre thinking anything but "I am so impressed with how hard that kid worked, dreams really do come true!" I know that was the point, but the haters will probably hate even more because when you don't put it all out there people will only think one thing...what the hell are you hiding? I also didn't like the complete removal of Justin Timberlake from the "how he got signed" story. Fail.

Question 2: Is the Biebs really all that? Most people see a cocky 16 year old kid who acts like a little white gangster and wears a lot of purple. But if you can get past the obvious he is actually a pretty talented fellow. I never denied this, the kid can sing...but he also has some other musical talents that give him more credentials than someone who can kick your ass at karaoke night. He can play the piano and is pretty decent on the drums. The movie also shows us that the undaunted cockiness of the Biebs has been with him since he was in pre-school...so you can't say that fame got to his head, he just had a big one to begin with. Also, Boys II Men were he backup singers...um yeah, that actually happened. So, the Biebs is all that and a bag of Skittles...especially if you ask one of his fans.

Question 3: Why are his fans so crazy? My bet is on the hair. When the Biebs came to Calgs for his concert I scalped my tickets for a 300% profit (karma is going to smack me for that I just know it) because I didn't want to lose my hearing for life. Thousands of tweens screaming like banshees is not my idea of a good time. So when I went to the movie and saw that all the little kids had been given glow sticks on their way in I got a little queasy...and for good reason. The minute Biebs came on the screen the banshees came out to play...and of course I had the 4 loudest ones in the theatre sitting right behind me.The girls in the theatre were screaming and the girls on the screen were screaming...there was no escape.

Half of the movie was devoted to telling the world how much Bieber's fans love him. Interviews with fans, fans holding signs, fans tweeting Biebs, thousands of YouTube videos to Biebers songs, fans crying when they see him...and the other half was Bieber talking about how much he loves them. So why do his fans love him? Because he makes his career about them. He makes his movies about them. He has no one else to thank BUT them (except maybe his manager Scooter Braun...who I have decided is cute and I would do him).

Biebs is definitely not a media darling. Something tells me that most people in the entertainment/media industry are sitting on the edge of their seat waiting for him to fall on his face. Braun says in the movie that Team Bieber is the underdog, but they like it that way because it gives them something to work for. But I think that fans loving the Biebs without him being the male Taylor Swift probably works in his favour...and really at the end of the day, who is paying the bills? Biebs, the media gets free tickets to your concerts and free CDs. Fans pay the big bucks, so keep them happy and that's all that matters.

So...did this film make me a Belieber? Hell no. Did it make me love or hate the Biebs any more or less than I did prior to watching the film? Not really. I am pretty indifferent. His fans will wet their pants over it and his haters will be so jealous of his easy ride that they will probably just leave hating him more.

Verdict: 2.6 Stars 

XOXO
Jes...

Side Note: I did not receive the promised Purple 3D glasses which pissed me off and was reflected in my final verdict.


This review was made possible by the peeps at AMP Radio 

1 comment:

  1. HAHAHA I knew you'd hook up with Scooter. I wonder if he's married? I would do him to get to the beebs.

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