Thursday, February 24, 2011

If Ricky Gervais wrote the Oscars Opening

We all know Ricky Gervais is not everyones favourtie awards show host...but he wrote a little something something for Anne Hathaway and James Franco in case they have some space they would like to fill at the beginning of the show.

It is absolutely hilarious. Basically he is saying that young white, American hotties like Franco and Hathaway can say anything that they want. Greatness. I was laughing out loud at this...now it may be because I still have my buzz on from Winefest which ended 5 hours ago, but give it a read. You may die or you may think I need to put down the bottle and smarten up...as it is only Thursday.

Here is a snippet...you can read the whole thing on Ricky's blog here.

JF 
You probably know me from 127 Hours where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds "way out" but wait till half way through this fucking ceremony and you'll start to identify with him. 

AH 
And I'm the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too. 

JF 
It's a daunting task hosting The Oscars but we're not alone. Presenting awards tonight will be a string of Hollywood legends and some other actors who have a film out in March or April. Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us! 

AH 
No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly. 

JF 
Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of The Office. 

AH 
But you can all relax because Ricky Gervais is in London... (Nervous laughter) He's doing some charity work. Yeah, he's visiting orphans with cancer. He's telling them what bald little losers they are... 

And so on. Ha.

XOXO
Jes...

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