Monday, February 28, 2011

Gawd I'm Loyal....Still on Team Charlie

Charlie Sheen is one lava mountain of a disaster right now. If I tried to recap the giant snow ball of bad C Sheen memories from the past year we would be here all night...so lets just do the last week.

Fresh off an at home "rehab" stint Charlie is sporting a dapper East Hastings junkie look and is ready to get back to work. He is supposed to start filming Two and a Half Men, but after a couple of rants about the shows co-creator, Chuck Lorre, to the press they decided to shut down production of the show for the rest of the season. So now not only is Charlie out of work, but so is poor little Jake Harper.

So Charlie does what any self respecting non-coke-addict addict would do (after his long time publicist calls it quits)... He continues on with the rants on the TODAY Show, Good Morning America and Piers Morgan Tonight, rambling on in the funniest most outrageous rants I have ever heard.

He is clearly delusional...but this shit is 20 times funnier than anything Chuck ever wrote (if you minus the fact that Sheen will probably be dead at this time next year and hopefully the Oscars won't miss him in the tribute like poor Corey Haim). Here are some of the good ones...Chuck, write these down.

"The last time I took drugs, um, I probably took more than anyone could survive...I was banging 7 gram rocks and finishing them cause that's how I role...I got Tiger blood man...Dying's for fools. Dying's for amateurs...What's not to love? Especially when you see how I party. It was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards - all of 'em, look like droopy eyed armless children." - Good Morning America

"I'm tired of pretending like I am not special. I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitchen total frickin rock star from Mars." - TODAY Show

"Yeah, I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen! It's not available, because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off, and your children will weep over your exploded body." - Good Morning America

Then it was onto Piers Morgan Tonight. This interview was longer...and a tad less dramatic. I think Charlie was just tired from doing more press than the Twilight kids combined in a day. He made light of rehab, he talked about the show, past rumours...but to sum it up in the words of Sheen, "I am on a quest to claim absolute victory."

I think it is safe to say that Charlie is the most ridiculous human on the planet right now...but even after all this I am still 100% on Team Charlie (in the whole Charlie vs. The World war).

XOXO
Jes...

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