Thursday, January 20, 2011

Dear Oprah. Don't Kill My Dream!

Dear Ope,

Yesterday I applied to be in the audience in your show. I was pretty excited about the prospect of getting tickets...I tried not to let myself hope too much, but of course by the end of the day I had already planned my entire first time trip to Chicago. Then this morning your people threw rocks at me...well it felt like it because I got the "You have been rejected by Oprah" letter.

I will say that I do like that the turn around time was very fast and I appreciated it, but way to go kill a girl's dream.

Here's the thing...I love your show. When I was in University I used to plan my class schedule around when your show aired, who needs to take Computer Science when you could be watching the great Ope?! Being on your show is also on my bucket list (well to be honest...being a GUEST on your show is on my bucket list, but I have decided that unless I save a bus load of babies that is not going to happen so it has been amended that I just have to sit in the audience) and since this is the last season of the show you should be able to understand how not getting tickets will ultimately ruin my entire life.

In the email that your peeps sent you said that I check back to see if I could get a last minute reservation...which I am assuming is if people decline their tickets...but what kind of psycho would do that? They shouldn't be applying in the first place if they can't go! I can't do last minute reservations...do you know how much a last minute ticket from Calgary, Canada to Chicago costs? I know YOU probably don't care cause you could buy a plane if you really needed to go somewhere, but I need to Airmiles that shit.

So here is my plea...since the regular shows are now filled for February: I have written a request to be on your show about Awards shows. I think you should pick me for this and I will tell you why (besides the other facts that I have already stated including ruining my life etc.)
  1. I actually DO watch award shows and I write about them on my blog...so you can check.
  2. My picks are right (I don't know this for sure, but I am pretty damn good at choosing the winners). 
  3. If you are doing a show about movies you should have some legitimate looking movie buffs in your audience instead of the regular Liz Clarborn clad audience members that usually get tickets to your show. Not saying that I am a movie buff, cause I am not that awesome and I dropped my film minor because I didn't want to take Arab Cinema (who would?)...BUT I do look borderline hipster-ish and may bring a little credibility to that episode.
  4. I am assuming that the show will be about the Oscars...which falls on my day of birth. For real. I will fax you a copy of my driver licence. So not only would you be denying me my life dream, but you would also be smashing a birthday wish. What kind of person would you be if you did that?
Just a couple of things to think about while reading over my application for that show and if you really wanted to make my day you could also throw in a couple free airline tickets and paid accommodation...but I am not going to straight up ask you for that because I feel like that may be rude.

Thanks for considering my completely reasonable request.

XOXO
Jes...

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