I did my Best Christmas Movies list, which I hope was enlightening to all and now I feel the need to let everyone know which movies to stay away from during the holidays.
10. I'll Be home for Christmas
This movie was one of the last real things that Jonathan Taylor Thomas did before he vanished off the face of the planet. And it is terrible...I think he needs to come back for a redo. Jessica Biel was the love interest in the flick and I also hate her...yes I know, it just keeps getting worse and worse. I hate movies that have the premise of "you need to get somewhere but bad shit just keeps happening that prevents it." I HATE those kind of movies. Barf.
9. Christmas with the Kranks
Home Improvement alum strike again. Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis are the Kranks. They try to escape town to go on a beach holiday during Christmas because their daughter was not going to come home...last minute she decides she is gonna come and they have to put this giant to-do together. The terrible head ache that I had after this movie is coming back just by thinking about it. Oh the pain.
8. Fred Clause
I remember being extremely pumped for this movie because I love Vince Vaughn...but I sure as hell did NOT love this movie. It was Vince Vaughn for children...and we all know that his best stuff is "ear muff" content for kiddies.
7. Bad Santa
Santa screwing a huss in the mall parking lot...yeah, sounds like a great Christmas film. Not even that it was vulgar and full of cussing...it was just bad. Oh yes...and I hate Billy Bob Thorton. What a douche.
6. Jack Frost
Daddy dies and comes back as a snow man...is that like the bottom of the totem pole as far as reincarnation goes? I mean Calgary snowmen only last a couple days before a chinook kills them.
5. Home Alone 3
Home Alone with out Macaulay Culkin is like Die Hard without Bruce Willis. Fail.
4. Four Christmases
Vince Vaughn Christmas movie failure 2.0. It's like Christmas with the Kranks times 4...uggg. 4 times the pain, 4 times the bad jokes, and 4 times the tired story line.
3. Santa Claus 3
Tim Allen strikes again. I am not a fan of the entire Santa Claus empire but this was definitely the worst of the worst. If I could put them all on this list I would...ok maybe not the first one, but if the other two were never made the world would have been a better place.
2. Scrooged
I hate Bill Murray. If someone asked me if I could burn all the movies made by one person Bill Murray's library would be it. A Christmas Carol is over done and painful as it is without throwing Bill Murray into the mix.
1. Elf
A giant non-elf elf played by Will Ferrell...there is no conceivable way that an educated person with half of a brain would have the stomach to enjoy this movie. I have now offended my entire family, as they all love this trash...oh well, you win some you lose some.
XOXO
Jes...
1 comments: